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Friday, April 30, 2010

Tips for guys who goes shopping against their will

My female friends, girlfriend and my sister sometimes insist that I accompany them on their trips to Department Stores and sometimes in tiangge (thrift shops). Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to make alibis and get out. "Frustrating" as I usually describe it. 

Unfortunately, my female friends and also my sister (like most women) - - loves to browse, and the amazing thing is they have the power to persuade… against my will.

A friend sent me these cool  and funny tips to enjoy shopping with girls which I want to share with you guys:
1. Take 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they are not looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. Approach an employee and tell her in an official voice, 'There’s an emergency in Housewares. Get on it right away!"

5. Go to the Service Desk and try to put a bag of M&M's on the counter.

6. Move the  'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you will invite them in if they will bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk ask if they can help you, began crying and scream, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk where are the antidepressants.
11. Dart around the store, suspiciously, while loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

12. In the auto department, practice 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell 'PICK ME!

14. When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assume a fetal position and scream 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least...

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, and then yell very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Have fun guys!!! Surely these girls will not invite you again against your will.

Any other tips? Please share it on the comments section below.





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About the Blogger

Yodi Insigne
Yodi de Veas Insigne is one of those delusional sorts who imagines himself a useful contributor to the greater blogosphere (Well, that's what he's trying to accomplish).

He started blogging for three reasons:

1. He always felt he has something important to say,
2. Books can make him cry, and cliff jumping can make him high,
3. He want to sleep at night.

He is a self-certified bookworm, travel junkie, shutterbug, movie freak, Mangyan hiker who sleeps a lot and think a lot. He got a little vice, which is black coffee and cashew nuts. He got colorblindness on yellow and green - and he freaking loves it!

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