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Thursday, November 05, 2009

Warning:Browsing Yahoo Answers can cause Semi-Deep Thoughts Syndrome

To kill my terrible boredom today, I tried searching for some weird stuff using google but it’s just returning junk search results – maybe because I was searching for weird stuff.

Then this question caught my attention “Are there any blind optometrists? Can I sell fire extinguishers in hell?” – It caught my attention because I’m the one who posted this question in Yahoo Answers during one of my bored-to-death-days.   

Yes, I admit, I am guilty of posting crazy questions in Yahoo Answers – because I get crazy answers and it’s fun. To my surprise, I am not the only one doing this. Yahoo Answers has lots of unanswerable, nonsensical, illogical yet funny questions.

While browsing I came across these probing questions, which makes me smile:

WARNING:You should not attempt to do scientific research to answer these questions - semi-deep thoughts syndrome can cause silliness!
  • What do we say to God when he sneezes?
  • How many Americans are currently frozen in the hope of one day coming back to life?
  • What is the percentage of nuts do squirrels lose because they forget where they put them?
  • Why do frogs keep trying to cross the road after seeing what happened to their buddies when they tried?
  • Where does the fat go when someone loses 30 lbs?
  • In what type of container is Styrofoam shipped?
  • Who hears the Pope confession?
  • Did bald eagles ever have hair?
  • Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • Is there a split between mind and body, and, if so, which is better to have?
After reading these questions I felt this semi-deep thoughts swirling in my head - I actually like it because it effectively killed my boredom.

Any answer to these questions? 
Any probing question you want to share in the comments section?


By the way, if there are semi-deep thought questions, there are also semi-deep thought best answers. Check this out:

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

 
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large  pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists


Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire


Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight


Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed


Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election


Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

 
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery         

Q Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

 
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow


Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow                                    (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.G. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U                        

Q.. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby

 
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium  

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

 
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.        (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.     

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

 
Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.                

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

 
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head


BRILLIANT! BRILLLIANT! 






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About the Blogger

Yodi Insigne
Yodi de Veas Insigne is one of those delusional sorts who imagines himself a useful contributor to the greater blogosphere (Well, that's what he's trying to accomplish).

He started blogging for three reasons:

1. He always felt he has something important to say,
2. Books can make him cry, and cliff jumping can make him high,
3. He want to sleep at night.

He is a self-certified bookworm, travel junkie, shutterbug, movie freak, Mangyan hiker who sleeps a lot and think a lot. He got a little vice, which is black coffee and cashew nuts. He got colorblindness on yellow and green - and he freaking loves it!

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