Blinding Darkness


"You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself. . . . the height of a man's success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment. . . . And this law is the expression of eternal justice. He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others."
Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519)

After I signed the Warrior-of-the-Light’s sacred vow last 19th of June, I thought I am indestructible. I thought that the challenges and the war over myself and the expansion of my territorial bubble would be easy. But I was terribly wrong. The war has just begun.


I seem to be losing the war for the past three weeks. I don’t know if it is because of the constant rain or because I am ignorant of the Warrior’s tactics that causes my failure.
Darkness once again blinded me and pierced my heart. I thought I already have greater dominion over myself. I thought I would never again commit the greatest of man’s error, which is self-abandonment.


I accept that once again I have fallen.
I believe that the Warrior of the Light never commits the same mistake twice, but I violated it.
I once again enjoyed the sick cycle carousel ride, only to painfully regret it.
I have to go back again to the reasons why I have to win this fight. I have to fight even if I end up still fighting because if I surrender I will have no reason to live.


I am a Warrior of the Light
I have to win this fight.

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