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I Shot the Messenger

A colleague in the graduate school commented on my post in our yahoo group forum saying that my sentence structure sucks. It’s already a long thread about a topic in our A.I. class – an informative technical exchange of inquiries suddenly interrupted by an English grammar purist. I pointed out that it is an informal forum – correct punctuation, capitalization and grammar was not important. An exchange of foul words ensued; a useless fight of intellect.

I re-checked my forum posts and realized that it’s true – my sentence structure sucks with wrong tenses here and there. Instead of admitting that I am not that good in English grammar, I angrily confronted him.

I wasted a lot of energy in trying to prove my point – and it’s not worth it. I realized that if I can’t admit my faults or face the things that embarrass me, or if I can’t tell the truth about myself, I will have a very difficult time when someone else brings these things to my attention. I often won’t accept the feedback, in trying to protect any false perception of myself. I am always defensive and reactive toward those people who are criticizing me – even if they are correct. I judged them as being mean; I even leave a relationship because somebody told me something that was true but too difficult for me to hear because of pride.

We always shoot the messenger, the bearer of truth: a fat lady shouts at somebody saying she’s fat, a driver gets mad at a passenger saying he doesn’t know how to drive, a man stop talking to a friend who said he’s a kalbong panot (bald), a videoke fanatic go berserk at somebody who said he sound like a basag na kaldero (out of tune).

Lesson: I have to accept truthful feedback without “shooting the messenger,” In this way, I will be free from having to defend myself. It will help me in accepting who I am, my weaknesses and imperfections, and improve on the important parts I have been trying to deny.
P.S. Committing wrong grammar in the Philippines is a crime for the English Language purists, hence I'm still trying to improve on my grammar and composition. Please bear with me.

Any same experience or thoughts you want to share in the comments section? I promise I will not shoot you.
Thank you for reading!


  1. Same here... my sentence construction and i may include my grammar sucks but i don't care... I write simply because I wanted to write for myself and not for anybody else... jijijiijiji... pero mali pa nga rin daw kahit ganun jijijijiji

  2. di ko pa nabasa ang buong post pero kokoment na ako dahil astig na astig sa paningin ko ang site mo pareng yodz...hehe

  3. i think you are doing great! dont care about negative people and haters!!

  4. meh. let them be. they're just too bored with life that they check everyone's grammar lapses.

    i had my grammar pwnage. even Obama had 'em.

  5. that's a mature way of doing things... anyway, it really doesn't matter if you're gramatically correct or not, i guess what's important is that you effectively deliver the message...

  6. heheheh astig! first time kong napadpad dito at napuyat ako 8)

    Saludo ako sa'yo Yods, sobrang strong ng Force mo! :)

  7. despite from that "lesson learned"... i didn't see anything that seemed wrong ...i mean you're good! (now i felt awkward with my grammar but whatever! it's not really about the grammar - it's the point or message that your pointing out...hehe

    ai sana I made a point din...hehe

    p.s. i know this is an old post but very catchy kasi 'yong title nito... grabeeh...anlakas!


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